Monday, 24 May 2010

Sun Lovin' Odd Behaviour or SLOB syndrome: Are you affected by it?

Sun cures all ailments*

Don't you just LOVE a bit of sun? I certainly do.

There is something about the sun that makes normally glum Britain a happier place, we forget our moans about tax, mortgages, David Cameron and Jedward and skip outdoors en masse to BBQ, sunbathe, buy ice cream, paddling pools, drink copious amounts of cocktails and Pimms and generally act a bit mad.

I think there is a syndrome attached to this behaviour, there must be or we wouldn't all dramatically alter our behaviour when the Sun pokes its brilliantly shiny head from out of the clouds. I will call it Sun Loving Odd Behaviour or SLOB for short.

Here are my findings:

Cause of SLOB syndrome:

High pressure, sunshine and soaring temperatures over 10 c

Publics affected:

SLOB syndrome affects the majority of the British population from all ages.

Typical SLOB syndrome behavior:
  • People's general appearance changes dramatically - Many men decide to walk around topless, physique is not an issue ripped or rotound they get their torso out. Girls of all ages wear demin shorts that barely cover their bottom cheeks. Flip flops are the only footwear considered by all genders. Older men decide that string vests and handerchief hats are appropriate.
  • Many famillies decide that all meals are to be eaten outside and many of the meals are in BBQ format. Food items not normally consumed regularly are eaten in large quantities eg. Corn on the cobs, meats on skewers and every condiment known to man. 
  • The sentiment "I never burn" suddenly applies to the majority of Britons who decide not to apply suncream in the unusual heat and therefor turn into walking Lobsters and red people.
  • The media cover any temperature change high or low in extreme details. Headlines such as 'Britain Sizzles' appear frequently on newspapers, while cheery looking news presenters do outside broadcasts from parks, fountains and beaches.

SLOB syndrome can only be treated by rain - pouring, torrential rain.

Am I suffering from SLOB syndrome? I'm off to a BBQ for tea, wearing flip flops, denim and will be applying no suncream whatsoever after burning on the weekend... you decide

Enjoy being a SLOB syndrome victim while you can

Love, SGS xoxo

*not factually proven

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