A few weeks after Christmas I jumped on my scales and was pleasantly surprised with what I saw - I was only a few pounds heavier than I thought so instead of thinking "Well, why not lose the excess and some more?" I clapped myself on the back and rewarded my 'not as bad as I thought' weight with leftover Christmas chocs/nuts/crackers and got into a terrible habit of eating Quality Street for breakfast and one before bed.
I weighed myself again recently and was the same weight post Christmas, but I realised this really wasn't great and decided to act on my new found enthusiasm for weight loss.
So I joined MyFitnessPal.com and have been on a calorie controlled diet for a month. It's a simple methodology you enter your height, weight, desired weight loss, age and the clever programme works out how many calories you need to consume daily to lose weight.
Any exercise you do earns you calories back so I have been going to Zumba once a week (where every week I am encouraged to do air guitar to Ricky Martin), walking to work occasionally, doing dodgy moves to Just Dance on the Wii and tried cycling yesterday (still saddle sore) but I'm not entirely convinced with eating calories back.
I am on 1200 calories, the minimum a women should consume. I was aiming to lose half a stone then decided to input a stone for the hell of it, I think that coupled with the fact I am only Snooki size at 5ft tall has meant the low calories.
Some days I can completely cope with 1200 calories, other days I feel like curling up into a ball and sleeping for eternity to try and rid myself of the gut wrenching hunger.
So far results have been mixed, the first week I lost a pound, then I put it back on (I blame London trip), stayed the same and have to weigh tomorrow knowing full well last Friday evening I went into a Dorito haze and scoffed chocolate from my Nan's sweet tin.
I've been wondering why it's so hard to change my mind set?
I'm a pretty determined person and I don't like failure but when it comes to food I have a weakness. It's a constant in my thoughts and the last thought in my head as I hit the pillow is what I'm having for tea tomorrow.
Psychologists might say I am eating to fill an emotional void, such bollocks, I eat a teaspoon or 2 of golden syrup out of the tin because it tastes amazing as does spoons of jam, pesto, peanut butter and chocolate spread.
I am trying to be better and to change how I think about food, I weigh things now, try and control the portions, think twice before eating a chocolate biscuit and attempt to choose a healthy dish on the menu if I eat out.
Gah, it's boring but it'll be worth it - the golden syrup is on lock down.
Love, SGS xoxo.